“So, Who’s Paranoid” by The Damned

Artist: The Damned
Title: “So Who’s Paranoid”
Label: 02. Records
Release Date: 12/9/2008
Genre: Punk Rock
Rating: 2.5/5

The Damned are back with their tenth studio album, the previous being 2001’s GRAVE DISORDER, and to a greater degree than that record they’ve turned in yet another mixed bag.

As anyone who knows me well can tell you, I love the Damned, rating them at number three on my list of all-time favorite bands (coming in behind the Cramps, with Devo in the number one slot), and the reason they keep their place at number three is due to their incredibly inconsistent output. I’m talking in terms of musical flavor, not their sporadic album release rate, and while I salute them for their willingness to experiment and not necessarily pigeonhole themselves within the confines of their status as elder statesmen or original British punk — for those who don’t know, the Damned claim a place in punk rock history for being the first British band of the movement to release a single and an album, waaaaaay back in the stone age of 1976 — but yet again we’re handed a sampler of well-crafted musicianship that struggles to find its own unique voice or flavor that says “This is the Damned.”

Or does it?

After having absorbed each of the band’s studio albums and many of their (often dodgy) live recordings, I’ve noticed a pattern evident since the largely brilliant MACHINE GUN ETIQUETTE (1979) in which any given Damned offering will feature some of the straight-up tongue-a’-lollin’, arms-a’-flailin’ UK-style punk numbers that inspire an impromptu modified Charleston in many of their listeners (including Yer Bunche), attempts at post-NUGGETS psychedelia and the by now de rigueur flamboyant posturing of diminutive vampiric frontman Dave Vanian (who, despite often veering into outright Broadwayism, gets my vote as the smoothest vocalist in the genre). All of which adds up to Damned albums that never fully satisfy anyone in their loyal audience, and considering just how good their punk work is when they’re firing on all cylinders it can be an extremely frustrating experience to remain a supporter of the band if what you’re looking for is the seriously rockin’ stuff. I can take some of their psychedelic output — if I want that stuff I can always listen to the real thing, thenkyooverramuch — but the over-the-top theatrical stuff that makes the Goth contingent swoon makes me want to eat my own ballsack, so when it comes to Damned records, in the case of my own listening experience it’s an exercise in musical cherry-picking. So in that sense while the Damned’s aural grab bag can be read as inconsistent, their output has managed to stay consistently inconsistent for three decades and I guess those of us who continue to follow them have to accept them for what they are and love them when they provide us with whichever of their musical stylings appeal to their diverse supporters.

This current album repeats the aforementioned pattern but suffers from many of its songs sounding like another group trying their hand at mimicking the Damned, an effect I found particularly disheartening. Let’s break it down track by track:

“A Nation For Heroes”-opens the album with a tone similar to GRAVE DISORDER’s excellent “Democracy,” but while listenable enough it’s rather forgettable. “Under the Wheels”-a good rocker. No more, no less. “Shallow Diamonds”-a shallow song about singers who sing shallow songs about diamonds…What the fuck??? If this is supposed to be ironic self-commentary, it’s not clever and wastes the listener’s time. “Dr. Woofenstein”-this is what would most likely happen if Dave Vanian were given free reign to write a Gothic Broadway musical a la SWEENEY TODD, operating as it does within similar introductory/exposition territory to Sondheim’s “The Ballad of Sweeney Todd,” and its derivative/wannabe nature makes it all the more pitiful. “Since I Met You”-a sort of tongue in cheek parody of love songs that seeks to have its cake and eat it too, but falls flat on its overblown face. “A Danger to Yourself”-a decent rocker, but nothing remarkable. “Maid For Pleasure”-what appears to be a bit of social commentary equating the duties of an apron-wearing maid with S & M games or professional submission yields the album’s best number. If you aren’t interested in downloading the MP3 of the whole thing, this is the one song to shell out the cash for. “Perfect Sunday”-kind of a harder-edged latter-day UK answer to “Pleasant Valley Sunday,” this one’s okay but slight. “Nature’s Dark Passion”-strictly for lovers of Vanian’s ham-handed theatricality. I dread this one being on the set list when I see these guys this New years’ Eve. “Little Miss Disaster”-featuring keyboard work reminiscent of live Toyah Wilcox circa “Good Morning Universe,” this one’s a solid rocker that could serve as an anthem for precocious teenage girls. “Just Hangin’”-maybe a tune about George W. Bush, maybe not. Either way it’s just kinda there. “Nothing”-the opening sounds like “Street of Dreams” from the band’s 1985 Goth-fest PHANTASMAGORIA but the song immediately shifts gears to become one of the band’s signature straight-up tongue-a’-lollin’, arms-a’-flailin’ modified Charleston numbers that I enjoy so much. Fun stuff. “Dark Asteroid”-a decent bit of psychedelia that seriously wears out its welcome about five minutes into its fifteen-minute (!!!) running time, eventually devolving into what feels like whale-song superimposed with Doors-style organ and almost-parodic ethereal “aaaaaaaaaaah” vocalizing. Self-indulgent to the extreme.

Depending on what you’re looking for, SO WHO’S PARANOID? is worth checking out but the bulk of its contents simply won’t stand up to repeated listening, so caveat emptor, especially if you aren’t a Damned die-hard. For the layman who may wish to check out what the Damned are all about in all their glory, I recommend full albums DAMNED, DAMNED, DAMNED (1976), MACHINE GUN ETTIQUTTE (1979) and GRAVE DISORDER (2001), and compilatons THE BEST OF THE DAMNED, DAMNED BUT NOT FORGOTTEN and THE LIGHT AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL (there are those who would recommend the band’s headlong leap into Goth/romantic foofery, PHANTASMAGORIA, but all of the good bits of that one can be had on THE LIGHT AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL). And whatever you do, avoid 1995’s NOT OF THIS EARTH (aka I’M ALRIGHT JACK AND THE BEANSTALK) like it was ten pounds of raw unshielded plutonium. It’s an outright piece of shit without one good track on it, and it’s the only Damned album I listened to and traded in at a used rcord store immediately thereafter.

Track Listing:
1. A Nation Fit For Heroes
2. Under The Wheels
3. Dr Woofenstein
4. Diamonds
5. Since I Met You
6. Danger To Yourself
7. Maid For Pleasure
8. Perfect Sunday
9. Nature’s Dark Passion
10. Little Miss Disaster
11. Just Hangin’
12. Nothing
13. Dark Asteroid

Official Website: http://www.officialdamned.com/

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