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“No Presents For Christmas” (Single) by King Diamond

Artist: King Diamond
Title: “No Presents For Christmas” (Single)
Label: Roadrunner Records
Release Date: 12/25/1985
Genre: Heavy Metal
Rating: 4.5/5

It was about a week ago that I shared my thoughts on the debut single from the upcoming live album by the legendary King Diamond which you can see HERE. Now, in the spirit of Christmas, I’m going to briefly discuss another single by Mr. Bendix and its one that not only came out more than thirty years ago but was also the very first single to introduce his new band to the people. I’m speaking of nothing other than that Heavy Metal holiday ditty “No Presents For Christmas”. If you’re a card-carrying Metalhead with some tenure behind themselves, I’m sure that you’ve heard this track and if not, its surely a bit of an odd treat. Let’s discuss a little bit deeper.

Historically speaking, Mercyful Fate had broken up and Diamond had a new lineup and it was very weird to find his first release of music being some sort of bizarre Christmas track. Of course, it rocks the socks as a tune. King’s new band was an incendiary one and featured Andy LaRoque and Michael Denner on guitars with Timi Hansen and Mikkey Dee on bass and drums respectively. This team would remain in place to record his first solo album “Fatal Portrait” and the seminal “Abigail”. The song begins with a traditional sounding “Jingle Bells” before the King’s shrieking laugh comes in with the thundering band.

Lyrically this is a very silly track and talks about Santa losing his list of where the presents go and as result, “No Presents For Christmas”. He brings up Donald Duck and Tom and Jerry who are involved in other shenanigans and obviously no help whatsoever to Saint Nick. By today’s standards that Christmas might be referred to as an epic fail. It’s the kind of song you’d enjoy if you can loosen up a little bit and don’t expect the King to be his uber Satanic Mercyful Fate self at every turn. When the proper song has ended the guitarists add a jam of “Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer” before the King muses how he is dreaming of a white…..Sabbath. I loved it and you might too. I think it still holds up today which is always a great thing.

Track Listing:
1. No Presents For Christmas

Official Website:

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