Before you read this one I ask you readers “What Is Best In Life?” and I hope you know the answer that I am seeking from the classic “Conan” film from so long ago now. Since it’s late and I’m having trouble focusing on the view screen I’ll share the news that the band known as CONAN will be visiting these parts from their faraway lands of Cimmeria. Truly the Hyborian Age is upon us once more. Read on to these translations of ancient scrolls.
The Press Release:
CONAN are as heavy as interplanetary thunder amplified through the roaring black hole anus of Azathoth. Remember that sentence, for it is writ large in virgin blood on the walls of the forgotten temple of Bol-Krastor, deep in the steaming forests of forgotten Lemuria. Conan, a monumentally brutal three piece (in the grand tradition of all the hallowed three pieces through time) hold a sinew-tight line and an iron-grip command over the uber-synchronised powerchord changes and tempo-shifts of the anti-holy trio of bass, drums and guitar. Two weary yet defiant men have the task of vocalizing wretched thoughts over the turgid weight of CONAN’s metalized bombast. They bear it well, for the task is immense. Now they bring this immense task back to North America this May on tour with North. In addition to the headline run, CONAN will also take part in this year’s Maryland Death Fest and 71 Grind Fest in Colorado Springs, CO. A complete list of dates can be found below.
CONAN frontman Jon Davis commented on their return North America: “We are excited to get back to the USA and Canada to play at Maryland Death Fest, 71 Grind and also the other awesome shows we have lined up. We are also looking forward to sharing the road with our friends in North.”
The Tour Dates:
5/10: Glendale, CA at Complex
5/11: Oakland, CA at Metro
5/12: Portland, OR at Dante’s
5/13: Vancouver, BC at Astoria
5/14: Seattle, WA at Highline
5/16: Minneapolis, MN at Triple Rock
5/17: Chicago, IL at Beat Kitchen
5/18: Indianapolis, IN at 5th Quarter
5/19: Cleveland, OH at Now That’s Class
5/20: Pittsburgh, PA at Smiling Moose
5/21: Toronto, ON at Garrison
5/22: Montreal, QC at TBA
5/23: Boston, MA at TBA
5/24: Brooklyn, NY at Knitting Factory
5/25: Baltimore, MD at Maryland Death Fest*
5/26: Raleigh, NC at Kings
5/27: Atlanta, GA at 529
5/28: New Orleans, LA at Siberia
5/29: Houston, TX at White Oak
5/30: Austin, TX at Sidewinder
6/1: Denver, CO at Hi-Dive
6/2: Colorado Springs, CO at 71 Grind Fest
6/3: Albuquerque, NM at Sister
6/4: Tucson, AZ at Club Congress”
* = no North
More on CONAN:
Way back, in 2006, CONAN formed as a two-piece near the old port of Liverpool, and cut a now mythological demo (‘Battle In The Swamp’). The years dragged by, and fellow warriors came and went (we raise our tankards to their memory). Now they have crystallized into a final configuration – founding member Jon Davis still raging on guitar and vocals, but ably assisted by fellow acolytes of the absurd Chris Fielding on bass and vocals and the dexterous Rich Lewis on drums. Collectively their plans are clear: they seek nothing less than the crushing of a billion skulls.
They have committed their filthy, ocean-sized sound to wax (and the slightly less cool compact disc) several times thus far – with more fetid brooding output always on the reddening horizon. First came the hulking mass of a debut album (in 2010) that was Horseback Battle Hammer’ (Throne, Aurora Borealis), followed by the now much sought after split with like-minded Northern Irish sludge-lords Slomatics (Head of Crom, Burning World) in 2011. In December 2011 CONAN returned to the remote wilderness of Foel Studio, Wales, and into the capable hands of producer Chris Fielding (now their bassmaster) for the next album which was to released on Burning World Records in Spring 2012 – the mighty eardrum-warping ‘Monnos’.
A triumphant recording of their live destruction of the 2012 Roadburn festival was released in 2013 as ‘Mount Wrath’. This was followed by a fearsome 12″ split with Chicago doomfuckers Bongripper in 2013 (Holy Roar Records) and a new devil-deal with Napalm Records, resulting in the evil turgidity of third album proper ‘Blood Eagle’ in 2014. Many tours across the blasted wastelands of Europe and the old lands across the Oceans have resulted in a tight slaying unit that pauses for no weakling and decimates all who will not nod to their titan-riffing. Their latest album ‘Revengeance’ was released in early 2016 – A fourth album of such implausible weight that Azathoth itself threatens to implode in a cosmic super-shower of black death-shit. Hear the roar of battle. Smell the stench of split blood. A thousand heads piled
high like a grim mound of suffering – a blasphemy to nature. Hail CONAN!
*** end of transmission ***
PiercingMetal Thoughts: So I’ve got to admit that this is entirely a new one to me and I must beg for any sense of forgiveness that the lord of the mound Crom would care to offer for this oversight. Knowing his lack of concern for us mere mortals I will instead trust in my own Metal resolve for the future with a trusty blade of Corinthian steel. Closing up I wonder if you readers have heard of this band before or ever caught them. If so or if even interested let me know what you think in the comments section below.
Official Website: https://www.facebook.com/conancavemanbattledoom